bravo self checkout

I normally avoid the lines with human checkers at the grocery. The check out line is not where I anticipate finding lifelong friends so I don't see the point in conversing about my purchases.

So, in the event that I do need to go through your line, checkers, could you do me a favor? How's about you not comment on every item that crawls by you on the conveyor belt.

It is truly maddening watching every person in line uncomfortably make small talk with you over ice cream cones and tortillas. I think the vast majority of people dislike this situation and it takes a million times longer to get through the line because of your behavior.

So...it's not that I am not thrilled that you like artichokes and capers together as well. Or that I'm not excited that your mom and I use the same brand of tampons. Those things are awesome. But let's keep them to ourselves.

In the future, please trust that I'll do the following:
*If I want a bag, I'll tell you.
*If I have a club card, I'll be sure it gets scanned in.
*If I feel strongly about paper or plastic, you'll be the first to know.
*If I have coupons, I'll present them to you.
*If I want to donate one dollar or round up my grocery order to donate to the cause of the week, I won't hold out on you.

As a side note: If socializing is the reason you're in this line of work, might I suggest cutting hair? You're guaranteed about an hour with each customer and they're pretty much a captive audience because you have weapons. Just something to chew on...along with your artichokes and capers.