how low can you go?

I went to a holiday party where the hosts hired a magician, whose main trick was pulling cards out of his stinky shoes, and a drunk Santa who more than played the part. Who can resist a photo opportunity with such classy gentlemen. Certainly not me.

**Please note the fanned cards in the foreground...

rage against the machine

I think I have a problem with people who own range rovers in the city. on my way to work this morning, I saw a new sparkly black range rover drive AROUND a puddle. What is the point of owning such a vehicle if you can't even muster the sack to drive through a freakin' puddle??? Aren't they for safari tours? C'mon. Get rugged.

I can't believe how angry I was by this pansy action. I took the high road though and was very mature about the whole thing. I plowed right through the puddle (splashing a pedestrian...sorry) and road his monster ass all the way up capital hill.

good way to start the day. :)

a special visitor

My neicephew Ziggy came to visit. Here (s)he is in front of the city.

another good show

Band of Horses put on an amazing show last week. I was late to join the Band of Horses bandwagon; I have been living under a rock apparently. Anyone who plays the tambourine with a viking's hatchet is great in my book.

A great live show that poked fun of the encore ritual and the drag of playing "the hit song". The only downer was the girl with the bushy hair who insisted on being directly in front of me...no matter where I stood on the floor of the showbox. Your persistence is impressive lil lady. Long live rugby coaches, as they are big big fans of BOH I noticed.

By the off chance the members of BOH actually read this blog...I'd love to hang out with the keyboardist. He seems really fun. Oh...and that Tyler guy is pretty hot. I'd hang out with him too.

Many thanks to Amy for snagging tickets.

squatch attacks

You really haven't lived until you've seen an inflatable sasquatch attack a civilized crowd of white collar professionals. brilliant.

Before the rage: a calm, cool and collected squatch politely posing with guests.

During: must have been one too many Bellevue brats kicking, punching and screaming. He just snapped without warning, like those crazy people on that program on the Oxygen channel. He started plunging the pointy end of the skis into the soft, freshly massaged flesh of the suburbanites who made the trek into the big city to kick off ski season.

Utter chaos. I'm surprised we all made it out alive. Please don't mess with sasquatch.

and the winner is...

ME! For the second year in a row, I won the shoebox float parade. The competition was pretty stiff this year, shaking my confidence a bit, but I managed to pull through. 2007 floats include:

"Float" float by Jeremy
A highly conceptual float in which the shoebox was meant to float.

"Jason's midget story" by Scott
An amazing visual execution of an even more amazing story about a heroic rescue of a leather clad little person who's Camero got stuck in the mud after a night of clubbing.

"Two girls one cup" by Britt
A brilliantly executed still replica of a popular internet movie.

"Motor boat float" by me

A tasteless representation of a popular activity performed by fraternity boys and gay men.

"Winter" by Amy
An enchanting prelude to this year's ski season.

"My view" by Todd
A float depicting the Lake Union view from Todd's apartment complete with sea planes and foliage. Stunning.

"America under seige" by Mike
This was the most perishable float by far and included cultural American items floating in red, white and blue jello.

"Cookie Monster" by Diane (and maybe Jeff)
Unfortunately, this float was not pictured due to the photographer being over-served. An entire cookie monster was constructed on top of the box. An impressive first time entry.

A good showing by all except Jason and Brad, who redeemed their lack of float construction by Jason's trivial pursuit showing and Brad's badly dubbed Kung Fu movie impressions. Good stuff.

Thanksgiving Part 1

Being out of town didn't stop Britt from hosting her annual feast. She even gets to set her own Thanksgiving date, which is impressive and soooo yummy. We cooked*, gorged ourselves, then slumped like whales around the trivial pursuit board trying not to act uncomfortable.

Luckily, I was on a team with Jeremy and Jason so I didn't even have to speak and we (they) still crushed everyone else. Helps having really smart friends.

*well...some of them cooked and some of us drank wine

tempting offer

These tasty morsels were pretty hard to pass up.


Sales tips if you want to move product quickly:
1. Mention that the item has been rejected by a pet.
2. Set in a public place, like the mailboxes.
3. Use items that people are familiar with...like post-its.

best show EVER

So a couple of months ago, I bought tickets to WEEN and Tuesday was the big event. It was one of the best live shows I've ever seen. It was fantastic despite the fact we had nosebleed seats and were a tiny bit late. They performed a healthy set sampling from all albums. The best of the show...hands down "The Mollusk". So awesome. If you ever have a chance to see these guys live you'd be a fool to pass it up.

FOOTBALL

Went to my first ever professional football game on Monday. Seahawks against the 49ers and the Seahawks won big. I understand now why football fans are crazy about being at the games. It was a blast, though the bar is set pretty high for my first experience. Great seats, club level eats and drinks. Many thanks to Reed, Charlie and Mike for the invite!

One thing I can comment on is the cheerleading uniforms. These sucked! They had silver metallic lace up pants so that the laces looked like silver shimmering pubic hair. It's a terrible picture, but you get the idea. Provided some laughs.

Hopefully this won't be my last game!

wing night

Amy's nickname is "Princess Chicken Wing" so naturally for her birthday, we rented a limo and took her around to Seattle's hottest chicken wing joints. Happy 25th Amy!!

The docket: Buckley's, Norms, Wing Dome, Wing Zone and, of course, Amy's favorite, Hooters. It was truly one of the most disgusting nights of my life filled with numerous laughs, wet naps, bibs and beers. We love our little Tulip Queen.


Scott, Jason, BreAnne and Brad survived the level 7 wing. I've never seen a more erotic performance with celery, ranch dressing and milk cartons. HOT.

the music's contagious (outrageous)

It occurred to me that maybe I should explain trulyx3outrageous. The name in no way speaks to an over inflated opinion of myself or my writings.

This name pays homage to one of the best female rockstars of our time: Jem. Her band, the Holograms is pretty good too. They pump out lyrics so mind numbing, I'm often forced to walk in solitude pondering their lessons after a good listen. Now you all know.

Jem, you are no longer in sydication, though you are far from forgotten.










Theme Song Lyrics by Jem And The Holograms

Jem...
Jem is excitement!
Oouu Jem...
Jem is adventure!
Ooouu...
Glamour and glitter,
Fashion and fame!

Jem...
Jem is truly outrageous
Truly, truly, truly outrageous
Woo ooo Jem...
Jem
the music's contagious (outrageous)

Jem is my name
No one else is the same
Jem is my name

But we're the misfits
Our songs are better
We are the misfits (the misfits)
and we're gunna get her

(Repeat everything, then below...)

But we're the misfits
Our songs are better
We are the misfits (the misfits)
and we're gunna get her

Jem (Jem)
The music's contagious (outrageous)
Jem is my name
No one else is the same
Jem is my name
(JEM)

unbelievable gym behavior

A complete stranger invaded my personal space the other day. She was completely nude.

Locker room, post-work rush, lockers at 95% occupancy, space is limited...so of course the girl next to me refused to put an ounce of clothing on for a solid 15 minutes. Instead, she preferred to stand and chit chat with other complete strangers.

I had a yoga mat in tow which caused the nudist to launch into a 2.5 minute script about gym yoga vs. studio yoga. Hands on hips, pelvic bones forward, tits completely hanging out. When the monologue was over, she actually started DOING yoga. Nude. That's when she kept brushing up against me shattering what little personal space bubble I once had while I struggled with my sports bra.

Doesn't end there though...just as she was down dogging a second time, one of her friends came into the locker room and the conversation turned to horseback riding. Yep, don't worry. She did nude imitations of how jarring riding is on her lower back.

I've started carrying my gym bag with me at all times in an effort to avoid the locker room entirely. It's working for now.

a lie i told once

People tell me pretty frequently that I remind them of Ellen Degeneres, which I'm ok with. I'd much rather that then Rosie O'Donnell or Donald Trump for that matter.

All pet sensitivity issues aside, I really like Ellen and have for quite some time. So it was pretty flattering when complete strangers approached me on the streets of New Orleans one year during Mardi Gras and asked me to sign autographs.

At first I denied that I was Ellen, but after an hour of being intermittently approached, it was easier to just give the people what they wanted. The masquerade lasted 2 hours and 12 autographs and I think i did Ellen proud.

The guilt has plagued me for years so I thought it was only right that my first post officially and publically apologize to those that received fake Ellen Degeneres autographs at Mardi Gras 1998. I've come clean. It's that dawning of a new Era.